Five Scenes of Growing Up
by Kelsey
Summary: James watches the Marauders grow up. Continuation of two of my NC-17 fics (links inside), JPSBRL and SBRL. SLASH.


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Five Scenes of Growing Up

by

Kelsey

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Disclaimer: Not mine. Belong to JKR. I don't like the movie-Remus or Sirius or James, though, so I'm definitely not stealing their impressions. 

Summary: Continuation of "Six Scenes of Sirius" and "Four Scenes of James." (Both NC-17 and can be found at my website, www(dot)geocities(dot)com/princessmcphee. Replace (dot) with .) Can be read alone, though. More serious, not really funny-fic, but definitely not angsty or anything, either.

Rating: R

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Remus is, a lot of times, the odd man out in the Marauders. He's bright enough to do his own homework without help, unlike Peter, kind enough that he doesn't need his and James's mercy to avoid being pummelled into the ground, unlike Sirius, and studious enough to pass his classes without constantly being nagged to do his work, like James. He is, in short, the one that needs them the least. Yet, he is well aware of the fact that really, he is also the one who needs them the most. 

As a werewolf, Remus's choices of friends are limited. There are few who would accept him for what he is and show so little fear, as James, Sirius and Peter do. As a gay wizard, his choices of partners are limited. There are equally few who would accept his sexuality and explore it with him as James and Sirius do. So he goes along with them, despite sometimes being unsure if he likes where Sirius's recklessness and James's cunning take them. Peter just follows, so Remus doesn't really count him.

And, he does usually enjoy it, once he is dragged along. James knows that from the laughs and smiles that their more un-allowed actions provoke in the werewolf, seemingly against his will. The clear exception is James and Sirius's Snivellous-baiting-- Remus doesn't seem to like the boy much more than his friends do, but James knows that Remus _genuinely_ doesn't like the way they bother him. Still, as long as Snivellous holds his own, James and Sirius are unable to resist the chance to get him back for his latest jibe or trick.

The gist of this tendency to follow is that James and Sirius have managed to get Remus involved in one of his least favourite activities-- a public display of affection.

They are in the library, studying, but only Remus and Peter are actually working. Sirius and James are making little paper airplanes out of their parchment and flying them into their friends and each other. Since they aren't making much noise, they haven't been thrown out yet, but they are making it distinctly difficult for Remus and Peter to get anything done.

"Would you stop that!" Remus hisses. "Some of us are trying to study!"

Sirius smirks. "Why would you want to do that?" he says in a low voice. "Rot your brain, all that schoolwork will."

"I need to pass Charms!" squeaks Peter indignantly. "I only barely got an OWL in it, and NEWT-level is a lot harder!"

"Leave them alone, Padfoot," says James lazily.

Sirius sits back in the seat and sulks, his lower lip stuck out in a pout, but he is still _and_ silent, at least for the moment.

James turns his attention to the studying pair. Peter, short and round, is peering intently at the Charms books open before him on the table, and every few moments, he reaches over and pokes Remus's arm. The werewolf then looks over to where Peter's finger is pointing on the page, and explains something in an undertone. James marvels at his friend's patience-- Peter is enough to try a saint.

It's not really Peter's fault, and James knows that. But he, Sirius and Remus are all extraordinarily bright, and it can be difficult for him and Sirius to find the patience to work with someone who doesn't grasp concepts anywhere near as fast as they do. In fact, Sirius doesn't like Wormtail much at all-- he trusts him and so grudgingly allows him to be a part of their Marauder-activities-- but he doesn't like him. James himself mostly likes Peter-- he's loyal and strangely cunning at times, but doesn't have the patience to tutor him. They leave that to Moony.

Coming full circle, James's mind turns back to the werewolf, and with it, his gaze. Remus has the end of his quill between lips, which are pinker and plumper where he's been worrying them with his teeth as he works. The tawny brown-blond hair that falls to his collar in almost-straight locks keeps falling over his eyes, and Remus absently pushes it back with one scarred hand, nails clipped short and neat, over and over again. James feels a sudden surge of desire.

He isn't in love with either of his friends, though he rather thinks that Sirius and Remus are and just haven't realized it yet-- but they are both very attractive in their own ways. Sirius is bold and bright, a shining star. Sharp and very white, full of light. Remus is different but equally beautiful-- more like the moon that ails him, James thinks. Softer and not as shocking, but glowing with a gentle light that illuminates all around him.

"Moony," says James in a low, husky voice.

Remus looks up. His eyes widen, clearly catching sight of the dilated pupils and flushed skin on his friend. "James?" he says uncertainly.

"C'mere." James doesn't give many orders in their sexual matters-- Sirius is usually bossy enough for all three of them, and the closer to the moon the more dominant Remus gets-- but he's giving one now.

Partly out of the constant fear of angering his friend that he has, and partly because he can't resist that tone of voice, Remus stands and walks around the table. This particular table is pushed up against the wall, where a cushioned seat makes up two sides, and two chairs are on the third.

Sirius is sprawled in the corner, watching as James pulls Remus to sit on his lap, and Remus, though startled, goes. It isn't as if the school is unaware of their activities-- James and Sirius can both get pretty hand-sy in the Gryffindor common room, and the rumour mill at Hogwarts works overtime. But they've certainly never been this overt in a public part of the school.

"Beautiful Moony," says James, and grasps Remus's arse under the table. He knows Remus can feel his erection against the werewolf's quickly-growing crotch, and he gives a nearly involuntary little thrust.

Despite his body's reaction, or perhaps because of it, colour floods the werewolf's cheeks, and he pulls away as much as he can with the table firmly against his lower back. "Prongs," he says, a little desperately. "We can't do this here."

James smiles reassuringly and ducks his head down to lick and suckle at Remus's neck. Remus turns his head in with a little moan, and Sirius rises up on his knees to capture the werewolf's parted lips.

Peter gives an entirely different sort of groan and puts his head in his hands. "Guys," he says in an embarrassed voice. "We're in the library."

Nobody answers him. They are, but they've chosen the table in the back of the stacks to make it less likely they are thrown out. Madam Pince doesn't like James and Sirius at all, and they're all afraid that she's going to ban them. Though they might not mind on account of the library itself, they would mind because Remus and Peter spend so much time there.

James, with Sirius's help, has finally succeeded in making Remus lose his control and clutch needily at them when there is an abrupt throat clearing that doesn't belong to Peter.

Assuming it is another student, Sirius and James are reluctant to part. Remus pulls away hurriedly, blushing in embarrassment, but is stuck on James's lap by both the table and the tent in his pants that would be visible if he rose. James nips his lower lips as he backs off, and Sirius caresses the back of his neck.

Peter squeaks in what is clearly fear, and James, Sirius and Remus reluctantly raise their eyes to find an extremely ticked-off McGonagall looming over them.

Having told Peter curtly to relocate, McGonagall marches a bright-red Remus, a sheepish James and an unconcerned Sirius towards the headmaster's office. Along the way, her tirade on the illegality, the immorality and the irresponsibility of their actions fill the air.

Sirius is the only one who speaks, besides the professor. Besides being the least cowed of the group, he is also fiercely offended by her statement that their actions are immoral. "There's nothing wrong with being gay!" he says heatedly while McGonagall has paused to take a breath.

McGongall fixes Sirius with her stare, and James and Remus quiver, though Sirius himself stands firm. Then she seems to soften a bit. "No, Mr. Black, there is nothing wrong with homosexuality." She turns away again. "But using each other in such a manner, at such an age!"

His ruffled feathers smoothed, Sirius falls silent once more.

The password is "Mars Bar"-- Dumbledore is fond of Muggle sweets and usually has one of them as a password. In complete silence, McGonagall apparently having completed her lecture for the moment, they head up the stairs.

The door to the headmaster's office opens, and Dumbledore stands behind his desk. "What a pleasant surprise," he says, raising one eyebrow, looking anything but surprised. "Minerva. Mister Black, Mister Potter, Mister Lupin."

McGonagall opens her mouth to explain her displeasure, but Dumbledore waves a hand. "I believe I know what this is about," he says. "Thank you, Minerva. I can take it from here."

McGonagall looks stunned for a moment, then clicks her jaw shut, nods curtly, and turns on her heel to leave. Dumbledore waits until the door is closed firmly behind her, then gestures to three chairs he's just conjured in front of his desk. "Won't you sit down, boys?"

Slowly, they sit, James and Remus waiting tensely for their punishment; Sirius's nonchalant facade cracking slightly now.

Dumbledore smiles and offers them his candy bowl. "Sherbet lemon?" he asks cheerfully.

Sirius and Remus shake their heads; James pops one into his mouth, nods his thanks, and sucks vigorously. The silence grows stifling.

"Now, where were you when Professor McGonagall found you?" Dumbledore asks lightly.

The boys exchange glances, then James speaks. "The- the library, sir."

"The library?" repeats Dumbledore. James swears there's hint of laughter in his voice. "Well." He steeples his hands. "I suppose I should punish you."

"We're not going to be expelled?" asks James.

Dumbledore shakes his head, smiling. "Now, where would you get an idea like that? Of course not."

"Professor-- professor McGonagall said it was illegal," says Remus in a shaky voice. "I didn't know." He looks young and scared in his seat.

Dumbledore's face goes grave. "Legal, my boys, does not always mean right." There is silence, and then the momentary cloud over him seems to lift. "But do try to maintain a little more privacy?" he says with a twinkle in his eye. "We wouldn't want the second-years getting ideas."

Sirius, once more unconcerned, grins. "Sure thing, sir."

James and Remus nod fervently.

"Well, then. Perhaps a detention apiece?" The nods are slower this time, but none of them protest. Dumbledore leans forward over his desk, and pushes up his half-moon glasses. "And boys? Do remember that your own morality is a higher law than the Ministry's. Sometimes one might have to do something legally wrong to achieve something morally right."

He smiles. "Not that I ever have, of course."

Knowing they are out of the woods, James smiles in relief. "Of course not, sir."

"Can we go then?" says Sirius, bouncing in his seat.

"Of course." The headmaster makes a sweeping movement towards the door. "Meet Hagrid for detention at eight o'clock tonight."

Remus is the first one out the door, and James doesn't see him again until detention.

Remus doesn't speak to them for five days, and James doesn't try to change that. He knows that Sirius has to be the one to do that. Remus will listen to Sirius in a way that he won't ever listen to James.

For five nights, Sirius goes to Remus's bed and begs entrance like he's been doing for the past few months. Every night, Remus rebuffs him by closing the curtains around himself with a snap and extinguishing his wand light. Finally, on the sixth night, he curls up in an unfriendly manner with his back towards Sirius, but doesn't close the curtains. Sirius grins at James and gives him the thumbs-up, then slides into bed behind his... whatever he is.

In the morning, Remus is back to normal, and James apologizes for the library incident. Remus shrugs him off, saying that he is equally culpable. Sirius leans over and kisses him wetly on the cheek with a big grin at breakfast, and Remus only bats at his lover's head playfully before wiping the saliva off his cheek. McGonagall gives them a death glare, but doesn't dare to do anything since they have Dumbledore's tacit approval.

From there, things change. James has always felt a little on the outside, despite the fact that he and Sirius started this. He knows that Sirius was mostly interested in him because two of them had a better chance of convincing Remus than one, and he's always accepted that. It's just fun, for him. Someday, he'll start dating a girl, and break away from this. He doesn't think it will end for Sirius and Remus when he does.

Things get a little rough when Sirius lets Snape into the Willow, but Remus finally forgives him. After all, it wasn't like Sirius intended to let Snape get killed-- he'd severely underestimated the git's intelligence, but that was an error in judgment more than a murder attempt. James, who hated him but had never thought Snape stupid, had had to go tearing after the bloody git and save him because _Sirius_ could be really, really dumb. Of course, Snape never thanked him.

Remus was mad that Sirius had exposed his secret, but they'd all known Snape had had everything but the proof before hand, so he forgives Sirius after not _too_ long. The spells surrounding the Shrieking Shack had taken fourteen-year-old Sirius, James and Peter three months to tamper enough to let them through, and Remus believes Sirius when he says he honestly didn't think Snape could get past them.

Still, it takes three months for James to see Remus and Sirius really interact when they don't know he's around.

It's a warm day towards the end of their sixth year when James comes tearing into the Gryffindor common room to see if he can round up Sirius, Remus, and some other acquaintances for a game of pick-up quidditch. The room is nearly empty, though, except some studious fifth and seventh-years that he knows not to bother. So, he heads up the stairs to the sixth-year boy's dorm.

Entering without knocking has always been their way, and now that he and Sirius and Remus fool around together, it seems even more patently absurd to knock. So James just shoves the door open and peers in.

He leaves silently, knowing that things are really different for good, now. Suddenly a bit sad, quidditch doesn't sound so appealing. He goes back to the common room to sit and think for a bit.

It takes only about ten minutes for him to break out of his funk. He, Sirius and Remus weren't ever meant to last-- they probably couldn't have if they'd wanted to. But Sirius and Remus together-- they had something that could endure. Something that James knows he'll never be a part of, not with either of them.

But that's okay, because it makes him feel warm and good inside to see Sirius look at their best friend with such love and passion in his eyes, to see the look returned. To hear the murmured "I love you"'s under their breath. Hopefully, someone will look at him that one, some day. But James always knew it wouldn't be Padfoot or Moony.

By the October of their seventh year, James no longer "fools around" with Remus and Sirius. They are in their own little world and even the ever-studious Remus laughs and smiles and forsakes reading his Transfiguration textbook sometimes to just sit on Sirius's lap and snog. It's sappy and cute and warms something in James's heart, despite having been forced to make an unwelcome re-acquaintance with his right hand.

It's not like they aren't still his best friends. They're growing up, is all. Something that was once a game for three boys is now a commitment for two. James focuses his attention on getting a girl to go out with him.

And for some strange reason, Lily Evans said yes.

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